Signed for by Sasquatch:

The $9,000 Disappearing Bigfoot Suit

I thought it might be fun to share a war story from the front lines. Grab your coffee. This might just blow your mind. Or, maybe not… if you deal with shipping companies on a regular basis.
Oh, and I had to leave out the shipping company’s name. You know, to protect the guilty.

After hours one evening, a SHIPPER driver dropped a package at the shop door. No big deal, right? It is if the delivery required a signature and the shop is located in the middle of an industrial park. That’s two flashing red lights screaming, “Don’t leave this unattended.”

One other thing: it’s my understanding that when a package is valued at over $999, it’s considered a high-value item by SHIPPER. While I get that drivers might not always know what’s inside a box, if the sender requires a signature with ID or restricts delivery, that’s a big clue that the contents are sensitive or valuable.

By my count, that’s three warning signs the driver ignored.
Oh—and forging a signature to “help a dude out” isn’t exactly wise either.

The shop was closed that weekend. I’d flown to Denver that Wednesday for a convention appearance. I mention that not to be all, “Look at me!” but to establish that I wasn’t even in the state and that I’d need about 10,000 witnesses to prove it.

At this point, you’re probably thinking, “What the hell was in that box?”

Just because I have a shop in an industrial park doesn’t mean I have a full-time staff. I do bring in artists when the workload demands it, but most of the time—it’s just me. “I got dis!”

And this time of year? Dead quiet.

A client from an amusement park back east had ordered a custom Bigfoot suit about a year earlier. They used it during the summer. They hired some teenagers to wear it. And like most things handled by teenagers... it came back needing repairs.

We’d discussed sending it in, but nothing was finalized. I certainly had no idea it was already on its way. Even if I had known, I wouldn’t have canceled my appearance just in case a box showed up.

But a box did show up.
The driver left it, unattended, at the shop door, no signature, no security, and over a weekend.

Fast-forward to Monday. The client called, asking about the confirmed delivery.
Cue alarm bells! I hadn’t received anything.

Now, let’s talk about why this somehow became my problem.

Apparently, when a SHIPPER driver leaves a high-value package unattended in an industrial park, without a valid signature, and that package disappears... it becomes the business owner’s job to explain why they weren’t there to accept it.
Spoiler alert: I had to prove I was out of town.

Sound strange? It sure did to me.
But I played along. I provided proof I was in Denver. I showed that I don’t have regular staff. I confirmed that I never signed anything. I even explained I didn’t know a high-value package was coming.

And then came the surveillance footage.
Sure enough, there was the SHIPPER driver dropping the box off and forging a signature.

When confronted, the driver said he was “just trying to be helpful.” After three failed delivery attempts, packages get returned to the sender. He figured leaving it was doing us a favor.

Honestly? I wish it had gone back. The client might’ve been annoyed by the delay, but at least they’d still have the suit. SHIPPER wouldn’t have had to pay out $9,000 either.

Instead, I spent my afternoon on the phone with a hostile customer service rep who seemed completely unfazed by the fact that her employee was caught forging a document on camera. The negligence was obvious, but somehow, I was being grilled.

In the end, SHIPPER paid the client. Well, sort of.
But the client was left without a Bigfoot suit for their attraction.
And me? I lost a repair gig during my off-season. That was money I could’ve used.

Here is the other thing, no one has been seen wearing a Bigfoot suit around town, or in the woods. Come to think of it, if they were wearing it in the woods no one would likely have heard about it. A hunter sees a bigfoot, pops it to prove he exists, but oops. “That ain’t no bigfoot after all. That’s Earl.”

Have any shipping horror stories you’d like to share? Drop on in the comments. Let’s share our pain!